Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Uniform Disrespect

I've carefully considered the following opinion and now I am ready to deliver it;

I'm really not enjoying this latest tempytype assignment. Of the four I've done so far this ranks mildly above TopShop and slightly below train booking. It's below train booking. I am so bored that I've been trying to stretch the writing of these blogs out to at least an hour so that I have something to occupy myself with... if this continues we may well be getting up to 4 blogs per day by the end of the week.

This is Day 2 and so far I have been given absolutely nothing to do. When people come in I let someone else know they're there and then I do nothing. Until the next person arrives I do nothing. I didn't even get given a pen until this morning. I feel like I ought to be writing some sort of expose on the true reality of the limitations of what humans think other humans are capable of. It's mind blowing.

I suppose I wouldn't mind if there was the mildest sliver of banter to be found anywhere in the office. However rules which I have deemed to be ridiculous so far include;

1. No paper on my desk.
2. No drinking any liquids at my desk.
3. Reminding my supervisor my name every time I speak to him.

The best part of my working day is my hour long walk to work. I'm doing the trek from Old Kent Road to Holborn on foot at the moment as the weather is nice and I'm terribly scared of heart disease and cellulite. I like seeing the world up and about at that time of day and I like to judge all the different school uniforms that I pass in the Borough area... The two main uniforms I see are equally disgusting;

Uniform One is woven from frustration, anger at the criminal justice system, and deodorant frosting. It's a shapeless brown combination which serves to make even the most cheerful children look like they're re-enacting the Jarrow March. I can only theorise that the purpose of this uniform is to kill any form of resistance in the students. Something along the lines of, "What is the point of rebelling? Even if I'm the class clown, I'll still be dressed like an ill favoured King Edward. I can not win." I'm not sure what kind of aspirations this is supposed to instill on any body below the age of 16. Certainly, were it me, I would make damned sure I did bad enough in school that I'd never have to use a uniform again if I'd had to wear that monstrosity for 7 years.

Uniform Two looks like someone has tried a little harder but just got it disastrously wrong; possibly through only ever having seen fashion magazines aimed at Dental Nurses and the people who make hospital scrubs. These uniforms are navy blue suits with salmon pink shirts to accompany them... I'm not sure if you'll have seen the most excellent film Drop Dead Fred, but if you can picture the suit Elizabeth buys when she tries to be a grown up, you'll get a good idea of what we're talking about here. These children look utterly disastrous - stuck somewhere between awkward posture and a middle aged frump inducing ensemble.

It makes me quite glad to have got through at least some of the mind numbing crud the world has to offer - yes I'm spending my days even more frustrated now than I was at 16 but at least I'm not doing it dressed as a wham bar.

Bridget Christie - Housewife Surrealist

I think it's fair to say that Christie's show is still very much in it's previewing infancy. You can really see strong themes starting to pull through and some heavy characters appearing through the hilarious anecdotes. Christie really seems to enjoy talking to the audience and it's that apssion that tides you over during the looser segments that haven't been secured down yet. The themes of religion, family and personal fear are very strong and promise a very sincere show. It's completely obvious that pretty soon Christie will have something very moving and thought-provoking to put to the audience... at the moment it's a preview but I think it shows great promise for an excellent hour - especially with full characters and tech.

Paul Sinha - Looking at the Stars

Sinha's show could not have been presented any more differently to Christie's. Where she had papers and ticks, he had meticulous delivery and a strong narrative through line. This is a really interesting show; I think it's a bit of a comedian's show from what I saw last night. There's a lot of exploration of what it's like to be a semi-personality or to have the pressure of Edinburgh heaped on you.

It's funny, frank and there's nothing quite like the rhythm and effortless performance that comes with such a seasoned performer. I don't think it's exaggerating to say that the show is woven extremely slickly, unlike many previews at this stage of July, it doesn't feel like a ragtag bundle of stories pulled together for a preview. The only thing I felt lacking was a real sense of personality in the performance; this could have been down to anything from remembering a solid hour of script to lights being very bright in what is a small room, but it felt like a bit of a gap after a performer like Christie. It might seem like a strange criticism given that the shows covers such personal topics like relationships, sexuality, expectations from parents and career decisions. It's not that Sinha isn't extrememly likeable; it's more that it feels very polished. Towards the end the barriers come down a little and I felt like we got more of an insight. I think it's more than likely a personal preference to like very casual comedians... it certainly shouldn't deter you from seeing what is already a consummate achievement.

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