Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Things I'm Willing To Do To Not Tidy My Room

Well, this is exciting... my productive day is going badly so I am live tweeting all the things it turns out I would rather do that tidy my room...

1. Write a second blog today (obvious but necessary so getting it out of the way first).

2. Research a mushroom recipe that I might actually like (just in case there's one that doesn't make me vom).

3. Learn all the words to the Sister Sister theme tune.

4. Watch Show Me The Funny on iPlayer despite being warned it's a bad format.

5. Actually answer my phone to a number I don't recognise.

6. Attempt French plaiting of my hair. If you want to see a beehive pop round to the Old Kent Road about now...

7. Contemplate a visit to the doctor to see why I can't move the toes on my right foot any more... this is unlikely to happen as I'm petrified of doctors but it has crossed my mind so it's going on the list.

8. Acknowledge the fact that when I was young I owned a multitude of desk tidies, now that I'm old enough to have a desk there are just pens everywhere with no form of organisation at all. Chaos.

9. Draft a letter to the Black Keys asking if they need a tambourine player for their next tour.

10. Draft a letter to the Harlem Globetrotters asking about their summer camp opportunities.

11. Draft a letter to the Equal Opportunities and Ethics committee explaining that the Harlem Globetrotters are bullying me.

12. Iron shit.

13. Watch Two and a Half Men on the basis that "I must have missed something".

14. Realise I hadn't missed anything.

15. Try and cut Charlie Sheen out of my retinas.

16. Read the ingredients of furniture polish and wonder if ingredients is the right word? Any help here?

17. I'm so bored.

18. Draft a letter to my mum telling her that, although she often thought she had no authority over us when we were supposed to be tidying our rooms as children, I actually get even less done nowadays when she's not here. I also don't hoover. I will explain I am sorry.

19. Congratulate myself on choosing lavender washing powder.

20. Make list of reasons as to why Bill Pullman is better than all previous lovers. Draft screenplay where David Attenborough and Bill Pullman rescue me from a Stockholm Syndrome situation where David Jason is my captor.

21. Promise myself an ice cream if I tidy my room.

22. Tell myself lists are fun and so it logically follows I should watch High Fidelity immediately.

23. Cry a little bit and tell myself to pull my finger out and get on with tidying my room... sigh.

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