Friday, May 20, 2011

Hysterically Negative

I think I'm in the Perfect Storm... I've totally lost it blog folks... I mean it. I've eaten a whole packet of biscuits and a whole packet of Halls Soothers. My throat feels like I've been eating vinegar soaked hedgehogs and my arms are all wobbly like they are made of spaghetti.

My cheeks are burning up and I am fairly sure I'm not meant to be at work because I keep laughing hysterically and I don't seem to have the ability to focus on things particularly well. If nothing else it's an exciting time to be.

I am also feeling particularly anarchic this morning which is leading to an increase in vocal volume combined with complete disinterest in whether I irritate my superiors. When I handed in my notice I was asked to stay on at the company to help train my replacement and to help the company out. I agreed. I didn't want to shaft them totally and, even though I don't want to stay, I agreed to help them out. I think this was pretty good of me, given the comission debacle, and I've been trying my best to help out.

Yesterday, however, in a chaotic turn of events designed to tip me over the edge, my replacement told me that on her first day on the job she was taken aside and told not to listen to me at all because I was such a negative person. My poor replacement was told not to ask for my help or follow my example but to do all her learning from the lady leading my character assassination. This particular woman has not spoken to my replacement since that day. 2 weeks ago. So, the poor girl has come in to a new job and been left to train with me (high negativity risk - you know what I'm like! Little rain cloud over here) whilst being told not to listen to me, but also not given anyone else to particularly listen to.

Was I furious when I found this out? Was I sorely tempted to throw my laptop at a certain person's head and storm out of the office screaming "I PUT THE EG IN NEGATIVE"? You bet your fancy ass I was.

Have I done any of those things? No. Because I am professional. Sort of. And because I feel very, very ill. I don't really have the capacity to exact my revenge right now. I'm off my tits on sugar, painkillers and cherry flavouring. Can barely feel my elbows I'm so face-bendingly out of it. Liquid lunch? Yes.


  1. Its hard to imagine how positive someone can be when they're worked unreasonably then screwed on pay.

  2. Toby Lewis-HammondMay 20, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    I got the same once. Was taken aside for a chat about my negativity in the office. I mean really. Me? Negative?