Monday, May 23, 2011

Adventure Calling

I've decided I need to have an adventure soon or my brain is going to fall out of my ears through sheer tedium. I don't mind too much what this adventure is about - it can be anythign from a great new job to riding a bear naked through the wilds of Siberia with Fleetwood Mac playing through speakers which have been surgically implanted into my elbows. Literally anything. I'm just a little tired of routine and repetition.

No one warns you that the long stretch of adult hood is insanely long compared to anything you've dealt with before. From birth until abotu 24 your time is nicely broken up into 2-7 year stints at different institutions. Every now and again you get to re-evaluate and choose what you're doing next, where you're going to do it. Then, all of a sudden you become a twenty-something and you're supposed to be decided and set in your ways. For 40 years. 40 YEARS. Give or take. I can't think of anything I want to do for that long... even stuff I like doing, I don't want to do it for that long. I think if I ate chocolate for 40 years I'd be sick - but I do love doing it. I can't even watch Planet Earth non-stop for more than two days.

But changing your mind about what you want to spend your planet time doing is seen as a sign of weakness I think. Like you didn't sort things out well enough in your early days and now you are flighty and unprepared. This is not the case.

I think we should all be given 5 yearly review meetings where you can opt out. Just put your hands up and say - I've done this, it's good and it's bad and now I want to leave thanks. I also think childless marriages should have this get out clause too. Commitment is not a good thing. It's a tedious thing designed to make you stay in your place. My place is boring and I'm looking forward to moving on.

Short of beign able to find a bear that is kind enough to want me to ride it naked with some very loud (but excellent) music, it's looking like I'm going to have to be finding that job. I think I'd make a great mascott for something... I'm not sure what. I'm not veyr sporty so it probably wouldn't do to have me anywhere near a pitch. I am quite energetic - perhaps I could be a new animated thingy for EDF or British Gas. I'd be perfectly happy to do that... but not for too long. Naturally.

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