Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wash Away The Sun

I'd like to say that I woke up to the rain this morning, unfortunately, I walked home in the rain at about 6:30 this morning and now appear to be suffering from some sort of white wine induced jet lag where my mind is insisting we be awake while my body tries to find inventive new ways to be horizontal.

There's a beetle on the living room floor that is stuck on his back, I should go and help him out. It seems sort of right that he's there though... I've got David Bowie playing in the background and outside the window the rain is lashing down while I sit on the sofa and wait for the flyers that should have arrived on Monday morning. What with it being Wednesday afternoon, I'm a little peeved that we've still not seen them.

The beetle and I are very frustrated.

I am frustrated because I have a beautiful show that I badly want people to see, and I've paid for 10,000 invitations to see this show which just aren't materialising. The beetle is frustrated because he hasn't even had that much to drink and this all seems a little embarrassing quite frankly. We're both frustrated because we know that realistically neither of our problems are that bad in the grand scheme of things.

There; I've flipped the beetle now. He's very still. It took a few attempts and I really hope I haven't killed him in my attempts to help him out. Most people with a vague sense of appropriate domesticity would have shooed him out of a window - I've just helped him to help me lose my deposit on the flat.

He's wandered off to the fireplace now... if he comes back with 10,000 flyers I think I'll marry him.

I'm so frustrated at being helpless; it's thoroughly depressing to be completely surrounded by people letting each other down and causing wholly avoidable problems. Can't people just start being better? It'd be quite a simple process... well have a little party where we all get together and say we'll stop giving in to the retarded side of our personalities. Personally I'm willing to stop getting drunk and climbing in things, and I'll do my best to start buying birthday presents on time which is something I've always failed miserably at.

Can the rest of the world just make a quick list of ways to be better and then we'll all sort of have a new year's resolution pact together even though it's August? Thanks. I'd feel a lot better after that. It might be an idea if we all start with promising not to buy any electrical goods on eBay for the foreseeable future? Just let the opportunistic tools have to use their 46 iPhone 4's as coasters for a few years.

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