Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In All Your Wisdom

Today has been a day for sleeping and not really a lot else... sleep all morning, wake briefly to have an ill advised pint, sleep some more... watch a bizarre TV show about a sad dwarf who is honing his drag act, and now back to bed to probably sleep again. This is surely not the life an intelligent being is supposed to lead. Tomorrow will be for accomplishing things... tomorrow will see much achievement. The sort of achievements that people write about in books using gold pens.

Before I go to sleep I am going to rearrange some of my bedroom furniture however... I always do my rearranging at night (not a euphemism), I don't think I've ever hefted furniture in daylight. I'm not sure why I do it... this time it's a boredom thing - I like change, I need things to be different every once in a while or I start getting itchy feet. Moving a book case might just keep me from leaving the country on a whim. Perhaps.

Having slept all day, this feels like the perfect night for an adventure to begin in... if some sort of demon climbed in through my window right now and told me I was the key to a big mystery that held the fate of a kingdom of people in it's grasp, I would be downright thrilled. I'm wearing skinny jeans though which is an issue, as I don't really feel they're appropriate for an adventure - leggings, yes... some kind of innapropriate night dress that will tear on things and make me look wild, yes... but skinny jeans, stripey slippers and a jumper? Not so much. David Bowie would take one look and wander off for a better heroine.

What with it being only 117 sleeps until Christmas (yes, that's right - in the absence of Edinburgh to think about I'm planning Christmas instead), now would be about the right time to travel to a distant land and do something epic only to return on Christmas Eve and find my stocking has still been laid out as per usual. Then I will have the sort of magical shower that heroines have in films - you know, the kind that not only washes you but also applies eyeliner and lip gloss and buys you a great outift - and come down for Christmas dinner in time for the first snow fall of the day. Perhaps a baby will be born too. Maybe my baby? My baby as I'm obviously pregnant by some Prince I met on my travel. Only the baby will be a little bit cursed and so we're leaving the door open for a sequel.

I must say I'm excited. I'm probably (genuinely/embarassingly) going to change my clothes now before I start moving furniture just in case I need to be ready for my silhouette shot against some New Zealand mountain as I turn and mourn the home I left behind. It'll be about the same point that I start learning a poignant lesson. If any of you want to come along, I strongly advise you get down to the Old Kent Road now because I won't be asking the owl to wait when it turns up with my message.

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