Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Olfactory Nemesis

One of the eternal joys of living where I do are the myriad smells that waft through my window... I have spent all of today sitting on my bed working and being alternately assaulted with either pot or fried chicken. If anyone were to come in to say hello to me today they'd probably want to sit me down and give me a stern talking to about not abusing my body with such gay abandon. The constancy of the smells means I'm pretty immune to both - or that I'm already so stoned that there isn't even a chicken smell at all, it's just that I've now got perma-munchies. One would assume that owning your own fast food outlet and being a bit of a pot head would be a vicious cycle leading to very little profit and an ever expanding waist line.

God bless the Old Kent Road for letting a straight laced obsessive from Somerset experience both weed and food addiction without ever needing to leave her bed. Huzzah.

The last day of August eh? Who saw that coming - obviously except for calendar makers and people who haven't just spent the last month with their head rammed firmly up their netherchute - eh? Tomorrow will be September which is traditionally my favourite month of the year. I love September for a lot of reasons:

1) I like autumn weather - it is always what it's meant to be. British summer is never right, British winter is rarely snowy picture book style. But Autumn... Autumn we get bloody right. We ship in just the right number of leaves, we know how to have windy chill without being too pissy rainy... it's just bliss.

2) My birthday falls in September and I've got big plans for being 25 this year. This year is going to blow people's minds. Oh yeah.

3) September is stationary month. September is the month where you can go to WHSmith and happily pile all kinds of books, files, rulers, calculators and erasers into your basket and not feel bad about it one bit. Obviously, if you're no longer in some form of education then you're going to need a pretty good reason and this year I have one;

My latest comedy notebook is full. I need a new one. I am very fussy about which book I have for my comedy. The last one I've had has not been as productive as I would have liked so I'm going to have to think long and hard about which one I go with this time... and tomorrow I get to go and scour the shelves and find my perfect match. I might even treat myself to a new pen to match it. Obviously, gone are the days when I can justify a 101 Dalmations pencil case and sit worrying about whether tins or zip ups are going to be in fashion this year, but I can still have some fun...

I love stationary. I can think of no better way to start the month than by buying some excellently ruled paper and maybe a new slot in for my filofax. Think big people. We're on our way.

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