Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ronan Keating Knows

Tuesday...Tuesday you say? Tuesday has so far involved being so tired I put my pants on backwards this morning and didn't realise until I got to work and went to the toilets to sort out what was turning into the most incredible internal wedgie a girl has ever had.

When you're quite small (I realise 5 foot and petite like a mouse runt is more than 'quite' small), wearing tights is always a hassle. I can generally pull the top bit of my tights up to my arm pits if I choose to - it's difficult to pinpoint exactly what influences the mood that makes me choose to do this. I like to pretend my tummy button is a bank robber. Makes it easier not to look at my tummy button. I've got quite a phobia of tummy buttons. I don't like things to go in them. Cleaning my tummy button has resulted in vomit on more than one occasion. It's possibly the only thing I don't like about a beach visit - getting the sand out afterwards. Eugh.

But anyway, I've digressed...as per...this is the result of being super tired. So...yes, wearing tights is difficult anyway. But when you've got your pants on backwards it does make the whole scenario even more confusing. For a while I was perplexed as to what on earth I could have eaten yesterday that had caused my bum to grow so immensely. I then noticed that there was a sort of pouch at the front, as though I should have extra front bottom to put in there. I don't have any more front bottom to give sadly and I was pretty good on the calorie front yesterday so there's no reason why my bum should have expanded to Lil Kim proportions.

It was then that I noticed the little label in my pants was not nestling quietly at the base of my spine...twas climbing my tummy on a quest to reach my chin. "Ah" said my brain, "you have your pants on backwards."

I swiftly changed them round and the world has been restored to normal.

This is what happens when I get tired. And it's only Tuesday. My reasons for tiredness are -

a) late night last night with Quiz In My Pants - which was super brilliant and starred Jay Foreman, Lou Sanders, Bec Hill and Pete Dillon-Trenchard. Next month's will be 28th February and will be Matt Green, Helen Arney, Henning Wehn and Stephen Hill.

b) an inability to keep my body temperature to a normal level during the night which is resulting in more shivering than dreaming at the moment. I think I'm going to track down a paramedic and get me one of those swanky 'I fell in a river' silver blankets to use in my bed.

c) I have a stupid day job. The only solution for this is going to be to start charging for my blog. It'll be 50p a go. So, once you've read it just click the like button on Facebook or sommat and I'll send you an invoice for 50p. Foolproof. Thanks for being so understanding.

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