Thursday, February 3, 2011

Him and You 3

You - I'm tired. I feel awful.
Him - You look tired.
You - Thanks.
Him - Don't do that.
You - Sorry. I'm grumpy.
Him - Are you hungry?
You - No. Not at all.
Him  - You're looking slimmer.
You - Thanks.
Him - It's not a good thing.
You - Yes it is. You wouldn't love me if I was fat.
Him - True.
You - Really?
Him- Ha! You're so predictable. Yes, it's true.
You - You shallow twat.
Him- I wouldn't love you, because if you were fat you wouldn't be you.
You- I'd be me in a fat suit...
Him -No, it would mean there was something fundamentally different about you. That you were lazier than the you I love. And that you didn't do all the things that you do during the day.
You - What if I was fat because I was pregnant?
Him- Is it my baby?
You- Erm...yes.
Him - Well then I love both of you.
You - Lovely. Sorry for calling you a shallow twat.
Him- That's ok. Sorry for not loving a lazy version of you.
You - That's ok.
Him - I'd be friends with lazy you.
You - I'll tell her.
Him - I don't think you'll ever meet her.
You - Maybe not. I'd love lazy you.
Him - I'm a pretty lazy guy.
You - No...laid back.
Him - Well, this is a very flattering conversation isn't it?
You - Would you like to have a row?
Him- No. But I wouldn't mind some chicken.

1 comment:

  1. Whenever I read one of these I get confused and feel like I'm in a gay relationship