Saturday, February 19, 2011

Gandolfini Syndrome

I recently bought myself the box set of The Sopranos as a treat for being...erm, well for being me. I'm now rattling my way through season one apologising left, right and centre to people I'm blowing off so I can spend more time with my second family.

I have a huge crush on James Gandolfini...I even bought Where The Wild Things Are (possibly one of the most miserable films ever to have animated creatures added to it) just so I could have his silky voice in my ear.

I suppose, if we were to group the men I adore into teams, JG would be on the DeVito team (DeVito has been a pin up of mine ever since he lent his voice to the half goat, half human in Hercules). DeVito got there first and is arguable funnier so I suppose he would be team captain but that's not to say I wouldn't give Gandolfini special privileges.

We could maybe set up a hilarious trio that live in a caravan. I would do a lot of cooking for them and they would love me for that. JG would do all the serious business like putting the aerial straight so we can watch films, and DD would be my little laughter bag. The two of us would crack jokes together all day long and have several scripts on the go.

Occasionally JG would get jealous of my closeness with DD, and we'd go out for dinner and have a really nice heart to heart. He's a little funny about letting his guard down but then so am I so we'd have great banter. We drink a lot of wine. The funny thing is that DD doesn't mind. When we get home, he's made something hilarious out of tin foil and JG and I think it's hilarious. On nights like that I suppose it's more like DD is our pet. But a pet that I'd happily marry.

We all have separate bedrooms - this isn't some kinky, freaky set up. DD sleeps in a bed that looks like a race car, JG's chosen a hammock, and I sleep in a pink kennel with a light inside that rotates. JG's favourite meal is chicken and bacon canneloni with lots of cheese on the top. DD likes me to make my famous risotto (I haven't invented it yet so it's not famous as yet but I'll let you know when I've invented it).

When they decide to cook for me we always start with salmon and eggs on toast which is my favourite. Then we have pizza (I never have the one with hot pineapple because hot pineapple is wrong), and then we have fish pie. This happens very rarely...we only have the fish pie when they've been fishing. And since neither of them particularly like the cold, this only happens in the summer. I think JG would go more often if DD just ahd a longer attention span. They're a funny pair.

You can't choose who you love. But you can choose to turn off the DVD. I choose not to.

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