Friday, February 11, 2011

Find My Mug in the Dictionary under 'Mug'

I've just typed and subsequently deleted the line "I slept badly last night".

It's not strictly true you see...when I slept, I actually slept very was just that I woke up even better than I slept. I got so good at waking up last night that I did it every 60-90 minutes.

I blame the can of Monster I drank during the interval of my gig. I have a small body, a small very efficient body that treats sugar incredibly protectively. As soon as sugar hits my body, we go bananas. We have the biggest party you've ever seen - it's like a carnival...there are fireworks, there's shrieking...sometimes there's classical music emanating from an unknown source. Sugar and my body get on like a house on fire. It takes less than no time for sugar to have found it's familiar nooks and crannies in my set up to settle down and wreak havoc.

But when sugar is gone, when my gluttonous body has rinsed it's firy friend for all it's worth...there's a real mourning phase. We hibernate. My body writes endless letters to sugar that start with "I just don't understand...where did we go wrong? When are you coming back?"

My brain will try and cheer my body up, he suggests walks to see some end dolphins but my body is nonplussed. We try all sorts of clever concentrating techniques but my body flicks the V and goes back to vacantly staring out from glassy eyes.

Over the years we've combatted this by only letting body have sugar in the way a prisoner sees their partner. Limited visits, no over exposure and certainly no rolling around naked together... small bursts of the right kind of sugar. You know? To use the prison theme - we don't let the embezzler see a woman made entirely of gold coins wearing a dress made of £50 notes. Similarly we don't leave body alone with some unwrapped fruit pastilles.

It makes night times difficult though. Body is naturally confused having been allowed uncensored alone time with liquid sugar. Body thinks it did well for gigging too, and on the whole we agree. But then when he crashes...brain is too sleepy to have kept a small tuck box by the bed to keep everything ticking over for the midnight hours.

So we have battles like last night...where my body and brain are fighting like cat and dog. Only Jo Frost or Dr Tanya aren't there to put us back to bed constantly and teach us about boundaries.

The long and the short of it is, I'm a bit tired today.

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