Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Severed Heads and Mushy Peas

The sun has come out...hurrah for a wonderful bit of blue sky just for a minute! To celebrate this I have had some super brilliant tunes playing in the office and have been dancing. I danced straight into the MD of my company...I'm not sure if he was less impressed with my dancing or my new office slippers. I wear slippers at work because I essentially work in a fridge and I also have a foot which is becoming increasingly knackered. Today it is numb and I can't move my toes. I have literally no idea what could possibly be wrong with it but I'm hoping whatever it is I'm the first to have it and it'll mean getting my name into an encyclopaedia. I would like that. I'm still eagerly awaiting the day I turn up on Wikipedia. Or Wikileaks. Maybe I should start bad mouthing some politicians and stuff and see what happens?

Not that that really works for a stand-up comedian...it's kind of just what we do. You could do a whole new website for the stuff Ricky Gervais said at the Globes. Not that I understand the furore over that...unless someone was under the deluded impression Gervais would be so grateful for a few crap movies made in America that he would lose all hint of comedy? If you want a safe speech full of fawning ask Nick Clegg. He's the Brit you want.

I am also going on a blind date tonight. Well, not exactly a blind date...I've seen a photo. And it's not exactly a date...I'm interviewing a woman for a role in my play - Ink. I'm intensely nervous about this...not the actual meeting but just the recognising bit. I am a teensy bit of a worrier and so the thought of having to try and pick the right woman out of the crowd at the Royal Festival Hall is worrying me immensely.

There are a number of scenarios that can happen in this situation that are guaranteed to make me sweat somewhere I would rather be dry.

What if she sees me and decides I look far too pesky and immature to direct her in a show? She may have a point...
What if I don't recognise her from her picture? This could lead to various awful situations whereby I either have to admit that she's hiding behind a pic that looks nothing like her and give up looking...or...I'll approach someone else and we'll all three of us be gutted. I'm not sure anyone but me would actually be gutted as they probably have lives and a grip on social reality.
What if I never find her? And I'll have terrible thoughts about how unreliable she is, and then it'll turn out she got run over on the way there. And then I'll have thought ill of the dead/horrendously maimed. Then I might go to hell.

So you see...eternal damnation is what's potentially waiting for me at the end of the day. I'm brave. I'm very brave.

I heard back from the radio people today...it turns out I'm not quite right for the position of MC. I am however perfect for their live comedy broadcasts and a resident comedy lady. Typecast? Yes. And damned pleased about it.

1 comment:

  1. Lexx? Was that a political joke? Was that satire?

    More importantly was that satire aimed at my main man?

    Be prepared for counter satire! I'm funny too. Are you ready? Are you?

    Well... er... you... your FACE is a speech full of fawning.