Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Him and You

Him - Hi
You - Hi
Him - You wanted to talk?
You - I'm pregnant.
Him - What?
You - Yeah.
Him - Really?
You - No, I just find dilated pupils really attractive.

Him - I don't find that very funny.
You - I do.
Him - It can't be funny if I'm not laughing.
You - That's a pretty screwy theory.
Him - Thing like that need mutual acceptance to exist. Humour etc...
You - In which case I think we've had far less 'sex' than you'd imagine.
Him- Cheap.
You - It is.

Him - So you're not pregnant?
You - No, sorry.
Him - It's ok...maybe you would be if our sex was really sex?
You - I like it when you joke.
Him - Times when you're happy must be pretty few and far between...
You - Well that was two in a row.
Him - Isn't that 1/8ths of an orgasm for you?
You - Jokes and sneezes are not interchangeable my darling...
Him - No. People might ask questions about the pepper mill on the bed stand...
You - Are you drunk?
Him - Just trying to make you happy.

You - I might not break up with you then...
Him - Were you going to?
You - Thinking about it.
Him - Any particular reason?
You - I don't like your glasses.
Him - I could take them off.
You - You wouldn't be able to see.
Him - You could see for me.
You - I wouldn't trust me...
Him - Neither would I. That's what makes it fun.
You - We might as well stay together then.
Him - I suppose so.

You - This was a pretty wasted trip.
Him - Why don't you let me buy you a drink?
You - I love you.

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