Friday, June 24, 2011

Off To See The Wizard

I slept with shoes on last night. Why? I have literally no idea. At all.

Especially because, when I left the pub I was actually wearing slippers and had my flip flops in my bag. But when I woke up this morning I had put my black court shoes on (and a vest) to go to sleep. I guess maybe I was attempting to be terribly rock and roll? I'm not sure I pulled it off.

This needs to be a pretty short blog as I've got to go and get on a train to Cornwall very soon and I've not packed a thing - this is always worrying because I am a lightweight packer. I hav a mentality when looking at my suitcase where I think - "No, I definitely won't need that." and manage to take very little with me. Then I get to wherever I'm going and wonder why on earth I thought I wouldn't need any trousers where I was going.

My room looks like a bomb's hit it so it might be safest to just scoop everything off my bed and into a bag and hope that it works out nicely. Having just glanced around at my bed I've just noticed that the foot of it is covered in cake decorations? Why? Sweet frigging hell why am I so weird when I'm drunk? I can only imagine I got home last night and decided I was Amy Winehouse in my vest and shoes and had a cake decoration party all by myself. Brilliant. I will probably have to get rid of those before I leave - I don't know where they've come from so now I'm going to have to look for the cake. Unless I just bought cake decorations? Ah what's the point...

It's mornings like these where I actually start to worry about what's going to become of me if I'm left to my own devices for much longer. If I'm already waking up in a vest and high heels with a bed full of cake decorations when I'm 24 and reasonably together, what chance have I got when I'm 86 and a complete spinster? I'll be inviting everybody in the home to come for Swiss Roll parties in my room and then flashing my knees and the gents.

Naturally this means this blog needs to be even shorter because I've got cleaning, showering and packing to do in the 30 minutes left before I've got to leave the house. If anyone out there has a particular ambition to be some kind of butler/carer please let me know so I can start receiving applications for someone to stop mornings like these happening,

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