Saturday, June 18, 2011
Beach Break Lexx Style (ie Smaller)
This time next week I'll be on a beach in Cornwall.
However, don't for one moment think that this means I will be basking in glorious sunshine in a bikini. I will be wallowing like a rubbery seal in a wetsuit in the rain trying to learn to surf properly for the 900th summer in a row while the rest of my family sit in the tent arguing over who has to help my brother do the washing up. The only thing we won't argue over is that somehow my brother will be involved in the washing up.
I actually can't wait.
I'm very excited about this weekend away and have been looking forward to it for a month or so now. It's sort of become a bit of a traditional annual weekend trip for the clan from the West Country now. It was on this very holiday the first year we went that I realised I could fit 42 Maltesers in my mouth at a time - if you're not impressed by that kind of reckless bravery and cheek stretchiness then we're probably not going to remain friends for long.
This is the kind of holiday that appeals to me - there's a big difference between a holiday with friends where you're expected to be preened, tanned before you go (weird concept), skinnier than you've ever been in your life (when the whole idea of a holiday is meant to relax you), and you can't get nearly as drunk as you can if you're out with my Dad.
It's not that my Dad will encourage you to get drunk - I mean, he will (It was my Dad who helped my best friend discover her allergy to most alcoholic drinks didn't extend to cider - he refused to accept she couldn't at least have a half after a match at Twickenham and she's now a regular fan of the cider and black. Good effort.) but there's also the safety of knowing that if you're drunk around your Dad -
a) he won't let you die in a ditch
b) he's never going to find out through someone else how drunk you were, because he was there.
I have decided that, for this weekend I won't be taking any kind of internet or phone with me - or any kind of internet connection. This means that I'm going to have to do some kind of pre-emptive blogging for Saturday and Sunday and try and predict what will happen. I realise this is a novel concept to blogging but I've tried very hard to make sure I blog every day and this is not the time to lose momentum of things.
Perhaps it could be some kind of a collaborative effort? In that, you tell me what you would ideally like to happen over the weekend while I'm learning to surf, and I'll make sure it makes it into the pre-emptive blog somehow...?