You Remind Me of The Babe

I'm getting a new phone delivered tomorrow and now I'm having guilt pangs about the Congo. I'm fairly sure mobile phones have ruined the Congo. It's definitely either mobile phones or rubber band balls. It it's the latter than I'm safe because I never could make those and so my conscience is clean. It it's the former then it's a disaster and I may have to stop texting immediately.

I'm excited about having a new phone - my current one is a puddle of pants and it's annoying. I'm not too fussed about the jazziness of phones (at least I wasn't until I discovered Angry Birds and Bloons Tower Defense - argh the 's' hurts my soul) so when I chose the mobile phone I have at the moment I opted for a safe Nokia that was a little bit backwards but that would work effectively at carrying my voice to other people.

I'm not great with technology. I used to be baffled by fax machines and literally had no idea how the paper could fit down the wire and get to the other fax machine without being ruined. Stupid girl. So, I thought my Nokia would be simple and useful and we'd get along great.

We don't.

The issue is that he doesn't really enjoying making calls, which is something I consider to be his main job. It's a little bit like someone booking me for a gig and I turn up and offer to flash some lights for 15 minutes but not actually tell any jokes. He does other things, he's an expert at letting the clock speed up so I'm late, he's a polished act when it comes to freezing up mid text message and he has an undercover battery that constantly masquerades as full so that you have no idea when the next off-air day is going to be. Brilliant!

What more could you ask for in a phone? It's almost worth phoning the Congo and telling them to get their act together. Unless of course they do deal with the rubber balls. However, it might also be worth having a quick word in that case and asking them to spend less time warring and more time making the bands easier to get together. Honestly, some people can be so self involved.