I've never been in an underground station at 12:30 before. Feels weird. I don't get why there's loads of people in suits - shouldn't they be at work or something? Must be a lot of empty desks if they're all here with me on the Northern line. I think it's half term too - that explains the foreign kids. Italian? Dunno. They've got dark hair and they seem excited about everything. They're taking it turns to stand with their thumbs up next to the London Bridge underground sign. 'Spose I'd be the same if I was in Rome.
I look a bit out of place in my overalls. There's paint on my cuffs. In fairness there's paint in a lot of places - that's what you get for being a decorator. That's why I've never been in an underground at this time of day before - only lived in London for a few months, haven't I? Moved here a few months ago and been working solidly since - that's a good thing though. Not the easiest decision to move when you're self-employed. A lot rests on the trust being there - you know? You live by your reputation when you're self employed.
I liked to picture the world being a bit desolate in London during the day. Just empty streets and coffee shops gearing up for the big lunch time rush. I suppose I sort of thought there would only be old people about - like a whole city of grannies who have to rush out and get all their figs and milk and stuff while everyone else is at work. Old people are dead nervous. It never occurred to me that other people would come out and fill up the gaps. Does make you wonder how we're all going to fit in when all the people who are usually at work, like me, get out of work and get on the underground. No wonder so many people become persons under the train. Took me by surprise that did, the way the announcer says it so matter of fact when people have killed themselves. We all have to get annoyed on the train - have to sort of sigh, and say - Selfish.
I'm heading home right now. Got to help Cindy with the furniture. She's moving out. She's got herself a lovely flat - she wants me to do the woodwork for her. She's crap with a paint brush. I've only let her do it once and she moaned more about the paint in her hair than I did about the drips going down the wall. I tried explaining that the paint doesn't have to go in your hair if you tie it up but she said she didn't believe in hair bands.
We're quite different me and Cindy. I guess that's why she's moving out. It's breaking my heart if I'm honest. Especially if I have to go and do the woodwork for her. I'd find that pretty difficult. I guess this new bloke isn't as handy. Seems a shame. She's so useless - she needs someone to look after her. She's not useless, no - that wasn't right. She's just not handy round the house. She's not useless - she could do anything. She's just not that interested in it really.
When I first met Cindy I couldn't believe she'd never had a job. Never had a job? I've always had a job - I've never had a glamorous job or nothing - but since I was about 15 I've done stuff for people that needed it. What do you do in a day if you don't go to work? Well, I guess you hang around on the Northern line at midday. It would be Cindy that finally gets me to break the habit of a lifetime I suppose.
Too good to be true - that's what it was with Cindy. Why would a girl that looked like that be interested in a bloke like me? I'm always grubby and busy and tired. I'm 34 and I've got bags under my eyes like you wouldn't believe. She's so clean, she always smells good. Always looks neat. I guess we weren't much of a pair. I guess this new fella must be a bit of a looker - not like me. He must be. Apparently she's introduced him to a few folks and they've all been impressed. Stings a bit.
She's already asked if I'll still come to Natalie's party. Natalie's Cindy's daughter. She's not mine. But I made her bed - so proud of that bed. It's a lovely bit of wood. Cindy's asked what I'll be giving Natalie as a present - I haven't got a clue. I've always just given Cindy the money to buy whatever she thought she wanted. I guess that makes me a pretty bad step-Dad. I'll miss Natalie I suppose. Doubt I'll get to see her that much what with working all the time - once she's moved out I'll be busy all the time.
Be quite tough. Don't really know anyone in London - only moved here for Cindy. Maybe I'll have to take a bit more time off - meet someone who doesn't mind a bit of paint. Well, better go and help her with the furniture. I'll be gutted if Natalie's bed gets broken because I didn't help.
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