Thursday, April 7, 2011

Four For You Glenn Coco

Ach, cabin fever has set in early today folks. Adding windows to an office is the ultimate in human torture once it's gone past March - I don't want to see how beautiful the weather is unless I'm in the weather thank you very much. It is not in my best interests to shwo me what I'm not enjoying. The only semi-decent thing the excellent weather has done to improve office life is that we're living in a very special window of tube travel. This is the time of year where a few eager beavers have begun wearing sun lotion (when I say eager beavers, I mean gingers and hypochondriacs) but it's not quite hot enough for the monsters in suits to be fully smelling of B.O. You can therefore catch the Jubilee Line safe in the knowledge that it will slightly more coconutty than bum cracky.

The weather is supposed to hold until the weekend though which is excellent news as I'm considering tkaing myself back to the zoo. Is it sad to go to a zoo by yourself? The thing is, I'm sure I could find someone to go with, but then the day would be about hanging out with them... Really, all I want to do is go and look at the animals and pretend we have some sort of special affinity. We don't. To them, I'm just one more pesky human who's staring at them and declaring they're either brilliant or stinky.

If I could have one wish this summer I think it would be to go to Longleat... I know that's not a very ambitious wish but I'm very passionate about Longleat and I genuinely find it more fun than a theme park. I like the big cats and I especially like the wolves. Head of Pets Corner Darren Beasley has also vastly improved my opinion on otters. I used to think otters were a bit like hairy eels, but now I think they are fun and the size of their hands in relation to their paws amuses me greatly.

My office is a bit like Longleat... in that you don't want to stop for too long in any section and there's a good danger that any food you leave lying around will disappear. You also can't open the windows but that's less humorous and more a suicide prevention scheme... perhaps the one purpose of the windows in my building is that I look out at Canary Wharf tower and think to myself, "Ah well, at least I don't work there..."

One day I'll have my own safari park. I will make sure I have all the animals that I love, this will include -
Bongos
Okapis
Otters
Squirrel Monkeys
And, of course, llamas

I'll also keep lots of wild foxes around. They get a bad rep and I don't think it's fair. It's not even like he ate the whole baby...

There will be absolutely no, no, NO snakes, butterflies or mushrooms ( I realise these aren't animals but I don't like them and they won't be grown). And absolutely no dolphins allowed. Not even as guests. They are not permitted through the gates (or pipes). They are over rated and must learn it sooner rather than later or it'll only make things more difficult in the long run.

1 comment:

  1. I agree about the foxes, people tend to generalize, my nan and I have the same argument about foxes. But she doesn't see how awesome they are.

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