Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Misery Sandwich

What is the point in these 3 days? For everyone who woke up this morning and when "Ah well there goes happiness", I am really with you. The sun has gone, I'm back at a laptop and I'm in an arse-about-face grump. Where's the sun gone?? Who is sitting up in the sky controlling the world thinking, "You know what'll take the sting out of going back to work? Clouds. Clouds will help."

Clouds will not help. Clouds are not helping today to sweep by.

Why would anyone in a managerial position imagine that anyone would put any effort into working during these three days? Surely this is a sign that these persons in charge have absolutely no people skills whatsoever. They must live on cloud cuckoo land if they think that the sugar levels in our blood stream are low enough for us to pretend to find HTML exciting.

I don't know about the rest of the workforce but I'm struggling to even sleep while I wait for the result on what tiara Kate will be wearing. What the hell are you supposed to get done in 3 days? Day 1 is for cursing the fact you're working, Day 2 is for reading the emails you got on Day 1 and Day 3 is for coming up with a cursory 2 word reply to those emails and then shoving them off to worry about next week.

If I could, I would be enacting a Viking funeral on my laptop right now. All flames and naked dancing (I don't actually know if the Vikings danced naked at funerals but it's my dream so I'm letting that one through) around a lake with a steaming Dell "Inspirin' Very Little" bouncing across the waves like a petrolled pebble.

I would have found it difficult to do anything very productive anyway having handed in my notice. I'd heard beautiful rumours about a thing called "gardening leave" that other lucky buggers get put on when they quit. I work in Canary Wharf so gardening leave couldn't have been anything muckier than going outside and smacking paving slabs with a hoe. Brilliant. Sadly there appears to still be work to do for me - the poor garden.

If I have a good enough nap this afternoon it'll practically be Wednesday and then we're just rolling into Thursday and a Tim Minchin shaped end to the working week. Huzzah for the beautiful ginger light at the end of the tunnel.

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