Sunday, April 10, 2011

Trials of a Universe

Still no phone. According to Vodafone the phone will now be delivered on Monday and they will waive the extra money I apid for a Saturday delivery as a goodwill gesture. Dear Vodafone, that's not a goodwill gesture - that's refunding the money I paid for a product you didn't deliver. Someone doesn't give you £5 for a cake, you refuse to give them the cake and then say "Oh go on then you can have the £5 back because I'm lovely." It's basically that you have to do that... otherwise you're not only inept, you're also a thief. No one likes a thief. No one likes Vodafoen either.

So the phone is coming tomorrow despite my arguments with them that I won't be here tomorrow because I'll be at work. never mind, says Vodafone, we'll try and deliver it but fail and then you can phone us and arrange another delivery. Well, I'm on the phone now - says I - can I arrange a different delivery please? No, says Vodafone, we've got to fail first. You have failed Vodafone. You are a massive failure. You should draw less attention to yourself.

Some alcohol happened last night which led to me not actually finding my bed until 3.15am - not through massive antics, mainly through falling asleep in front of Goodfellas (the film not the pizza) and only realising that I had a bed at around 3am. Still, no harm done - Sundays were made for recooperating I think. I'm 99% sure the bible says something about on the 7th day God took an alka seltza and a berrocca together and invented speed.

My hair smells like breakfast this morning - I have to confess I've only recently learned how to make poached eggs and this has led to me cooking them as often as I possibly can. So this morning I made poached eggs and bacon bagels and now my hair smells like cremated bacon. I'm happy to convince myself that this is an attractive feature in a woman and it shows not just a complete lack of vanity (personal hygiene) but also a willingness to make breakfast. What more could you ask for?

No comments:

Post a Comment