Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The World Is My Travelcard

Oh dear... it's 23:17 and I'm very aware that my ability to write interestingly/coherently is severely diminished by the time I get to this end of the day. I'm sorry about that. This is what happens when I'm forced to do proper things during the day which take up time and don't allow me to wonder about anything trivial.

Right now I'm wondering why I have to have a digestive system that barely functions. If you were a fly on the wall in my room, not only would you be very unwelcome, but you'd also probably think I was playing dead right now. I'm trying very hard not to move so my stomach doesn't notice I'm still awake and start trying to emigrate to my anywhere and everywhere else. I had a salad earlier and, despite all the worlds' assurances that fresh salad and fruit and vegetables are good for you, salad makes me feel very ill.

In some ways I'm quite proud of my body because it's successfully recognised that salad is crap and just flavourless water in food form. It's noticed this, taken on board the information and then gone out of its way to make clear to me that it doesn't appreciate having the stuff piled in on a daily basis.

On the other hand, it's quite difficult to explain to people at barbecues why you've assumed the foetal position while everyone else is still playing boule.

The fact that lettuce makes me want to die might be a sign that I should give up on life now - I've clearly driven blindly down some evolutionary cul de sac that not even a Nissan Micra driven by The Stig could get out of cleanly. But then again, perhaps this just means I'll be a superhuman bread based being who conquers all by running on carbohydrates alone.

What else have I pondered today? Er, not a lot in all honesty... I've been out filming in Twickenham, missed all of the beautiful weather and then raced as fast as I could to Soho to present the London Fringe Radio show... which was cracking. Particularly enjoyed the yodeller and the music by Brondi Bros.

Let's hope tomorrow is just as action packed but with far less whining from me.

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