Wednesday, June 18, 2014

About People

There's something about working in the service or hospitality industry that makes you absolutely fucking hate people.

I'm currently working out the last few shifts of my bar job in the slow unwind to just doing comedy full time and the last few shifts are the hardest because the patience I used to have with people due to "needing the job" is vanishing.

I'm the same person whether I'm on stage or behind a bar; I look the same, I am just as intelligent, just as personable... but there's something about having a job where you're doing something for someone else where they suddenly assume you must be either:

a) too stupid to have inherited your father's company
b) sniffing glue
c) both

Tonight I had the following conversation with a woman:

Woman: Is it always like this? I've had to wait 10 minutes!
Me (whilst serving someone else): Sorry about the wait, obviously we've got 1,000 people to serve in this interval so there will be a slight pause while we get to you.
Woman: But I've waited 10 minutes!
Me: That's why the interval is 20 minutes... you'll get a drink, you can take it back in to the theatre and everyone will get served in order.
Woman: Oh! Well, I was waiting over there and I got asked to move.
Me: Yes, you were queuing next to the sign that said Please Keep This Area Clear For Disabled Access. I can't serve you there; I need to keep that area clear for wheelchair users.
Woman: I didn't know.
Me: There's a sign.
Woman: I couldn't see the sign.
Me: That's why I asked you to move.
Woman: Well I want a drink!
Me: What can I get you?
Woman: A red wine. Have you got a Rioja?
Me: (pouring the nearest not Rioja to hand) Sure.
Woman: Oh! Is it a plastic cup?
Me: Yes.
Woman: Can I have glass?
Me: No, it's a children's dance event... no glass.
Woman: That is beyond disgusting. (She walks away).

I guess some people just have their things that are important to them. But, my final shift will be next Monday night when I work the bar for an amazing event that's a nightclub for people with learning difficulties. The sort of conversation you have there are:

Customer: Please may I have a coke?
Me: Yes, absolutely. Ice?
Customer: Yes please. Thank you.

So different. How different people are:

Woman: I cannot have a glass - beyond disgusting.
Customer: I've got no legs and I'm deaf and can barely speak - hooray I'm at a disco!

I'll miss working the bar at the disco, just because it gives me a refresher every now and again to try and not be a "beyond disgusting" person. I want to be a "hooray disco".

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