Friday, April 6, 2012

Easy Friday

Personally, I think it's very easy not to be religious these days. We're very far removed from the times and the places that Christianity was conceived, making it seem obsolete and inappropriate for modern living. I'm no great fan of organised religion - I was raised as a Christian but ceased attending church and considering myself a Christian at about 18.

I'm not a fan of the fervently religious or the blunt faith bashers. I think either way of living makes you very short sighted - it's far better to be able to see the upsides and downsides of any way of life. Yes, Christianity has sparked many wars but it's also been the building blocks of a legal and social system that has taught the vast majority of people not to kill. The epitome of swings and roundabouts.

Why so pious Laura?

Well, Easter is coming up isn't it? A few days away. The day when Jesus was supposed to have risen from the dead. The thought of Jesus being in the modern world is something of an interesting idea in my opinion. Will his miracles have updated if he does reappear? I feel like he wouldn't particularly fit in if he was to reappear as written.

Turning water into wine is a great idea but in the modern context it does it make it seem a little like Jesus is into drink spiking. No one wants a headache all day Sunday, spending the day in bed perplexed having only drunk water from 11 onwards, only to receive a text from Jesus that simply says "LOL". Funny fucker that guy! Of course, it's reasonable to assume he will not be allowed into a club in sandals anyway. If you walked across water at the beginning of time, is it safe to say you'd be OK crowd surfing at Oceana?

Good old Jesus. The problem I've always had with Religion bashers is that they miss out on an integral point, that, whatever you want to believe about following a completely Christian way of life, there are some gems of wisdom that are not to be sniffed at. I've written countless blog posts over the years but none of them have come close to making the splash that the 10 Commandments did. It's like working on a Noah skit after Glorious had already been toured.

My favourite pearl of wisdom from the Bible is, "Don't hide your light under a bushel". Advice for anyone with a slight self esteem issue. This is one of Jesus' rare ideas that actually makes more sense once it's become a modern cliche.

A bushel in Jesus' day would have been a measure of dry weight. Arguably a light would have also been a flaming torch.

Jesus was the Health & Safety guy who just got a bit out of hand.

"Hey guys, can we please stop storing the flaming torches under the mounds of corn? It's really just making the torches bigger. It's not really possible to hide it under there until it's completely gone out. Then it's not really a light any more. It's just a stick. Stop hiding your stick under a haystack. Do you need me to write these down for you?"

Of course there are upsides to having a slightly strange Health & Safety guy at the office. He's always the guy who fastidiously collects coupons. Nectar points are a useful commodity when all 5,000 employees have turned up to the company picnic and only Sue has thought to bring more than Scotch Eggs. Good old Jesus will have made the most of the 3 for 2 on bread and fishes.

He's a sweet guy.

It'll be nice to have him back on Sunday if he does want to come. I think he'll be thrilled to see the changes to the world. I have a sneaking suspicion his whole "raising Lazarus from the dead" bit might have been a slight fabrication, using CPR as an excuse for why he might have been caught lip locking another guy.

"Yeah, choking he was. Weren't you, Laz? Choke up chicken. Feeling better? Good. That was me that was. Rescued him."

 We've moved on Jesus - compassion and love for one another, the very values you taught, have been spread further than anyone in your day could have possibly imagined and we are now closer to an all inclusive society of equality than we have ever been. Now, if we could just learn to laugh at ourselves...

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