Information Whore

I've actually been working hard this morning. Next week I've been assigned the prestigious task of addressing a collection of business folk at Earl's Court for a 30 minute presentation on the online video revolution and how to use video to form the sort of relationship with the top of the Google search results that even Katy and Russell couldn't imitate.

30 minutes is a long time to talk about something you genuinely couldn't drum up a mite's penis length worth of interest in. I've been at this job for just over a year and they're giving me a 30 minute paid spot in front of hundreds of people? Hell, I've been doing comedy for 4 years now, stand-up for 2 and I can't guarantee I'll get more than £30 for a divine 15 minutes in front of 20 bored old men in a grotty pub in Ealing. Sorry Ealing, you were just the first place that came to mind. I'm sure all your pubs are clean as a whistle.

But on Wednesday I will be playing Earl's Court. 30 minutes. Now, I've got a good 30 minutes... but I've been advised it may not be quite the right stuff for this crowd. So I've had to start working on a new one. Mainly facts, so far I've been very good and only put a light sprinkling of jokes in.

The thing is... the more I research and write this speech, the more interested I get in the subject. I work in an industry loosely based on search engine optimisation and this morning I've been ploughing through a paper on the history of the internet, the history of the world wide web (they're two different things - who knew? Lots of people probably, but not me), the men who invented it, the ways the search engines shaped it, the ways they shaped the world, and the reasons why it's a constantly evolving beast.

It's fascinating stuff. If you want my reasoned argument on why video is the answer to pleasing both end-users, publishers and search engines then feel free to come and bask in my glory on Wednesday. I won't trouble you with it here.

But, I'm starting to wonder if there's anything on the planet that isn't interesting if you have the attention span to really find out about it? So, before I started this job and this paper - "IT? Men in suits at desks being dull... tapping away at their desks writing code?"

Now I've started this job and this paper -
"Someone had to think up the internet and the web. That's incredible."

"If Google hasn't indexed a page yet (which applies to an inordinate amount of the web) the vast majority of the population will never know it exists. Google therefore shapes the livelihood, possessions and behaviour of vast swathes of the population just based on the algorithm it uses to promote certain pages..."

"Tens of thousands of people work in and because of the I.T. industry... you've got the folk who work on the engines, browsers, computers... you've got the folk like me who placate the whole thing... you've got the businesses that were revolutionised by being able to easily work across different counties, countries and continents... you've got the businesses that can only exist because the internet means overheads can be low enough to turn a profit."

"How big could the population have gotten to without the internet?"

My mind is spinning... I have a billion questions and answers and theories and I could research the shit out of this stuff and be busy and happy for days... but I only have one more afternoon left to write this. And there is so much to know.

There's too much stuff. Too much. Seriously, Google 'stuff' and see how many results you'll get... incredible.

There's nothing I can't seem to find fascinating. There's nothing I couldn't sit for hours and read about and think about and talk about and joke about. But there just isn't enough time... there is too much world for me to know enough about. What's the game plan? Know a little about some things? Like, I know Gaddafi has at least two sons, has been in power for 42 years, has been raving about face lifts recently and isn't going down without a fight. I could parrot a very intelligent sounding analysis about the situation in Triploli and how it's been affected by the Egyptian uprising.

But I couldn't hold a debate on comparing the relief effort to Christchurch to the political and monetary aide that will be apportioned to Libya.

Where do you draw the line and stop knowing stuff to go and do stuff? It sometimes causes me great difficulty.