Gunning Down...

It turns out Top Gear has gone from being quite an interesting show about cars to a thinly veiled platform for middle aged pricks to massage their egos. Utter bullshit.

I'm not going to write about that though because I already saddled you with a miserable blog yesterday so on this Sunday night I'm going to beef up the chirp (not a euphemism) and totally be a happy bunny.

I've had a pretty eventful weekend...yesterday I went out shopping and bought myself a delicious bottle of my favourite perfume. Perfumes were put on this earth to cheer me up I've decided...I'm a big fan. I have a large selection of perfumes and the one I wear always depends on my outfit and my mood...they have to match. It's difficult to define exactly what it is about a smell that matched the colours and the feel of the outfit...but they definitely exist.

If I'm feeling like a bit of a sexy beast monster type lassy I'll either wear my Euphoria (Calvin Klein) or my Sex 212 (Carolina Herrera). It's potentially that both of these perfumes are pink. Not that I would ever wear pink if I was trying to look like a sexy lady. I'll be honest, I generally wear black or blue. I'm a very boring dresser. By dresser I mean 'someone who dresses themselves, not like a wardrobe. Unless by wardrobe you mean the one who comes to life in Beauty and the Beast - she is awesome.

If I want to feel classy and like I'm a superior woman of worth I wear my Coco Mademoiselle (Chanel) and pretend like I was brought up in Hampstead or Surrey or somewhere like that. I find it difficult to wear this perfume without heels and (to my knowledge) I've never worn it unless I'm wearing a skirt. Is this slightly messed up? This might be slightly messed up. It's getting harder and harder for me to tell if I'm honest.

My everyday perfume that just smell like me is Diesel (standard and limited edition). These are the ones I wear most often...they smell warm and can be worn with a multitude of different outfits. But I would really like to wear them when I get my motorbike. Perhaps if I stop spending all my money on perfume I'll have enough for the bikes. Clever girl. It would probably cause quite a big issue with my organisation of things that need organising though if I rode a petrol bike whilst wearing Diesel. Sigh. Will my trials ever cease?

Hugo Boss Deep Red and Ghost are ones that I've been wearing since I was about 16 and I'll put them on for days when I've been feeling a little bogged down in the fact that I'm a mid 20s ball of chaos. It's kind of like covering up a maniacal laugh and a bunch of cats with a loud of Elvis CD and a throw rug.

DKNY woman smells very clean and I will wear that only with a white top, a dress or if I've recently done something I regret and am hoping I can pretend it didn't happen. Makes sense in my head. Anyone that wants to use this blog to get me committed is really on to something tonight aren't they?


So...what perfume did I buy at the weekend then? Well, I'll tells you. My favourite perfume of all time. The one smell I never get bored of, the smell I could happily curl up and die in?

Ralph Lauren - Romance.

This is the smell of unicorns. It's the smell that emanates from Tom Selleck's moustache which I hope to one day experience as we smoke cigars together and re-enact the merry go round scene from Mary Poppins (ultimate fantasy).

It's the smell of peace in the Middle East. It's the smell of star fish (when they've bee washed). It's the scent of the red stripe of a rainbow. It's the aroma that whatever they banned from blue smarties emits. It's the smell of beautiful ladies with long hair and expensive pants.

I love it.