LARGE MEETING ROOM. INT. EVENING.
BRUCE WAYNE and several marketing executives from the Bruce Wayne Corporation are sitting around a huge meeting table. BRUCE seems very excited about his new proposal and begins to set out the details for ALFRED and the team.
BATMAN
I've called you all here today to start proceedings on a brand new project I want to start working on immediately.
The executives lean in excitedly.
BATMAN
(cont'd)
I want to fight criminals for the people, and stand up for justice and the integrity of the city… but on a theme.
The executives nod eagerly between themselves and start scribbling notes and getting more excited.
ALFRED
Like… like, a justice theme, Mr Wayne? Like Captain America or something along those lines?
The executives wait with baited breath.
BRUCE WAYNE
Not quite... no. I was thinking more along the lines of bats.
There is stunned silence in the room. Nobody moves.
ALFRED
I'm sorry Mr Wayne, you'll have to elaborate?
BRUCE WAYNE
(extremely enthusiastic)
A bat theme! Everything bat themed…!
ALFRED
Um, ok. I guess it worked for Spiderman. Do you have any bat-like powers, Sir?
BRUCE WAYNE
Um. No. But do you remember I fell in that hole once and there were some bats there. So I’ve been near bats.
ALFRED
I thought you didn't like bats?
BRUCE WAYNE
No I don't. They're very frightening. That's why I want to be bat themed so I am more frightening too!
ALFRED
(carefully)
I'm not sure everyone is as frightened of bats as you Mr Wayne...
BRUCE WAYNE
(menacingly)
What are you saying, Alfred? Are you saying bats aren't scary? Are you saying I shouldn't be scared of bats?
ALFRED
No no. Not at all Mr Wayne. I'm just making sure I've got all the details so I can do the best I can. Now, when you fell in that hole... Did any of those bats bite you by any chance?
BRUCE WAYNE
Um, no.
ALFRED
Not to worry Mr Wayne, I think I can get marketing to work with this… bat theme could be great - flying, nocturnal, bit creepy…
BRUCE WAYNE
And a fun mask! With little ears!
ALFRED
Ok… sure. That can be your job. We can have bat shaped guns - that will be very impressive.
BRUCE WAYNE
(standing up and shouting)
No! No. No guns.
ALFRED
No guns?
BRUCE WAYNE
I won’t use guns.
ALFRED
Oh, right… because your parents got shot to death and so now you’re staunchly anti-guns because of that?
BRUCE WAYNE
(exasperated)
No! Because bats! Because bats don’t use guns! Come on guys…
BRUCE looks around despairingly at the table of executives.
ALFRED
Right. No guns. Ok, so you can go out at night and fight bad guys and clean up the streets. All very physical and upper body strength… yep, yep - exactly, like bats. Settle down Bruce. Cool. Yes I think we can work with this.
BRUCE WAYNE
Yeah, and after I beat up all the bad guys I can use up all the over ripe fruit in the area.
ALFRED
(trying to follow his train of thought)
Because…
BRUCE WAYNE
(encouragingly)
Yeah?
ALFRED
Because… of air miles and to highlight food wastage in society?
BRUCE WAYNE
No! Because BATS!
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