Edinburgh Pangs

I'd like to go back to Edinburgh please,
I want to be a thesp...
I'm bored of this city,
It's smoggy and gritty,
I'd like now to pack up my desk.

I'm after some more liver failure,
Some cobbles,
A Crabbies or two,
I'll put on a show,
Hell why not all go?
I'll even consent to take you.

We'll go see the Dome and the Courtyard,
We'll party til 6 in the streets,
We'll go see some shows,
Some good and some awful,
And finish it off,
With a mouth of falafel
Or grab us some good deep fried eats.

There may be some slight overcrowding,
On the mile,
Some folks in white paint...
Feel free to ignore,
Applaud or deplore...

But if you should see one,
Wobble and faint
With theatrical sighing that's likely to taint,
Your stroll in the sunshine
Don't act like a saint...
Don't bother thinking,
Don't show self-restraint
A kick in the head
Is the best way to taint
Their misguided belief
That street theatre's quaint...