Shut Up Bowie

I don't like change. Transitional periods make me incredibly angsty and irritating to be around. Decision making is not something that comes easily to me. In fact, I find making decisions incredibly hard and likely to make me stroppy.

I would like it if decisions could be made in factories - so that you could buy the correct decision for any occasion. People would be trained to weigh up situations very quickly and accurately and then just pummel you into the right pathway. I think people may have gone a little way down this road, hence we ended up with the Magic Eight Ball, but I think there's still work to be done before the system is perfect.

It's not that I want someone else to blame if it goes wrong, because weirdly I don't think people often do make irreconcilably wrong choices in life... everything seems to work out in the end. I just don't like the sensation of making the decision in the first place. There are too many options to consider and as soon as you've decided that it's change you need, you forget all the things you didn't like about the current situation.

Morons will then start popping out of the woodwork to tell you "It's all psychological"... yes, thank you genius. Technically my decision was also psychological too... because my brain made it. Why on earth would you curse a species with a brain capable of first making a decision of their own free will and then give them the capacity to doubt that decision right up until the day they die? It's a very tricky position to be in.

This week I've got the angsty nerves of someone who has given up their job with no safety net in order to give full attention to a dream. I'm proud of myself. But I am terrified in equal measures. The difficulty is, if I stay in the day job, I'm admitting that I'm too scared to ever do it... and then I may as well not be doing all the half sacrifices like producing annoying puns every five seconds and living far away from everyone else I'm related to. So it needs to be done... and it will be done. But not before my ever active stomach acid has given me some kind of ulcer. Now is not a good time to get an ulcer seeing as I'm about to stop paying good levels of National Insurance. If someone could have a word with my bodily functions I would greatly appreciate it.