We had ears of green...red noses too,
Made balls of snow...threw them at you,
You thought to yourself...what a wonderful world.
I saw skies of, well, dark... and snow of white...
No bright blessed days, it's always fucking night...
And I thought to myself...what a curious place to choose to work for someone with SAD.
The colours on the faces, of children going by
Are also oddly symptoms, for serious hypothermi...(uh, don't point that out to the guests please Elf #2)
I see elves wrapping presents, outdoors by the hut...
They're really thinking....bastard paper cut...
I hear babies cry...what can you do?
Who brings a toddler out in minus 32?!
I see parents spoiling kids saying, 'Sleigh ride honey?"
They're really saying, "We've got SO much money!"
(Instrumental Break - cue 50 tone deaf infants warbling the only song you can be bothered to teach them)
I hear babies cry...parents try warming tricks,
More money than sense... indulgent pricks
And I think to myself...what a wonderful job...
I think to myself...Santa's a complete...joy to work with.
(Probably makes more sense sung? Will aim to perform it at a gig near Christmas...now, who wants to help me learn guitar?!)