I did not sleep well last night folks. This has lead to there being a curious pattern to my day so far. Firstly I was super bouncy and bouyant this morning. To the point where I might have used the word 'super' out loud in conversation. This, twinned with my pony tail, had members of the office community alternating between wanting to stab me and get me a job writing scripts for Sister Sister.
I got a hell of a lot done this morning. I was efficient. I was like a laser, cutting through piles of work and watching the smoke rise as I completed things one after the after. Mere mortals would have been shocked into vomiting by the speed with which my hands and brained whirred. I was all over it.
Then I went for lunch. I fed myself. I chose a spicy pizza. This was an error in itself. When you have IBS it's important to learn what is going to be ok and what is going to have you sitting very still in your concentrating very hard on not moving so that the shooting pains in your stomach don't make you whimper like a wet goat in a gale. The spicy pizza was an error which I will pay for later when my stomach starts saying
'Hey, new plan! Let's play hedgehogs.'
"What?" says I
"I don't know what that means....OW"
And then I'll see that what stomach meant was he was going to curl up in a small ball and feel all prickly. The side effect of my tummy curling into a small ball means that my whole torso has to follow suit. And while I like role play, playing the part of Quasimodo as I walk down Norwood high street is not cool. I fit in fairly well with the other nutters. But it's not ideal for someone as effortlessly cool as me. Ahem.
But anyway, I went for lunch. And now my body is confused. And it wants to sleep. This has resulted in a severe detereoration of attention span. Now, my attention span is not great at the best of times. My brain works a little quicker than the rest of my body and so I get halfway through doing things and I'm bored and so I've stopped and am daydreaming and/or started doing something else. So I'll be drafting an email to someone and then my brain starts thinking, what shall I have for dinner and while I'm busy pondering it my sneaky little hands have gone off to type into google and then all of a sudden I'm on 'What The Fuck Should I have For Dinner' .com and my email is abandoned and I haven't even noticed I've done it. Curses!
So in short, I guess what I'm going to need is a reason to stay awake. And so far, I do not have one. Answers on the back of a post card please.