Cook a Jamie’s Thirty Minute Meal in under 4 hours.
Ask your parents how much they bought their first house for and realise the sandwich you bought at lunchtime was worth a bedroom and a half in the sixties.
Eat something out of the clear plastic vegetable prison at the bottom of the fridge.
Go to your nearest Hollister and tell them to grow up.
Give a sock to a house elf.
Buy an avocado from Waitrose and then watch it decay. No matter how great a Waitrose avocado is - you're better.
Find someone giving out "Free Hugs" and tell them to go and patch it up with their parents.
Go out and buy some taramasalata. Greece needs all the help it can get.
Pull out the pin on your watch and wiggle it backwards and forwards. You're practically Doctor Who.
Watch the Call On Me video while eating a Snickers and rubbing your hairy, hairy shins.
Go and look at all the people in Wetherspoons.
Tell a child you’re so old you were born in the last millennium.
Cancel your charity direct debits and make a large donation to a KickStarter campaign... What will be the point of rainforests when there's no middle class white kids' art?