- Checking whether previous conquests have toned up enough to consider getting back in touch - Between 8 and 17 minutes depending on results and photo evidence.
- Examining the off spring of ex schoolmates to see if they are "mummys lil Princess" or a cross eyed ball of fat - 6 minutes (inc time spent to forward pictures to other friends).
- Updating status with something witty - 3 minutes (on a good day)
- Refreshing witty status to see if anyone has noticed - If you continue after 5 minutes you have issues.
- Scouring your photos for one without a double chin that can be used as a profile pic - 15 minutes.
Where do you go from there?