I'm in bed.
I'd like to be able to say I'm 'still' in bed so that you get the picture that I've had an incredible lie in today, but the truth is I needed a wee so I got up and went and made a cup of tea and did the washing up but now I've come back to my bed. But I did originally stay in bed until at least 10:30am... this, is very impressive for me. I'm not very good at staying in bed for long - I have a slight issue that if my body temperature rises too high I have a panic attack. So unless the window is open or I've eaten my duvet, I pretty much have to be up early to avoid being a nob. What fun.
But this morning I managed to stave off total flip-outery and, although I did start to feel a little bit anxious, I think this might be because the first text message I received this morning said -
"How's your rut today?"
This was not some very early morning kinkyness from a would-be suitor (would-be suitors that are chasing me are either imaginary and therefore don't have means of telecommunication, or they're real but don't have control of opposable thumbs - either way, not so texty). It was from my sister... wanting to just double check that I was OK despite the obvious flaws in my life.
Quite a sweet message in purpose, however, it was characteristically blunt and being reminded you're rut dwelling is far from ideal when you're hoping to lounge around in bed for the first time in months.
How to bust oneself out of a rut? Well, I have several dubiously genius ideas, ahem:
1. Instead of booking trains on Monday I am going to turn up dressed as a train and explain that, given my method actor training, it is impossible for me to work to my best ability without really getting inside the mindset of the trains I am booking. This might not have the best effect, but it will definitely do something... and the rut will be busted.
2. Plan an adventure for 2012 that involves some kind of foreign country and a shocking hair cut. My parents will be so devastated that I still don't appear to be doing anything productive with my life that they'll immediately offer to pay all my rent for me if I'll just settle down and work towards having a future that amounts to something.
3. Get pregnant and raise the child to speak a different language - maybe Mandarin. Also teach it everything wrong: Cows say Woof, blue is pink, you have to continue using a potty until at least University age and it's a normal activity for families to compare potty contents on Friday afternoons. When the child is discovered for being an absolute crack pot, I claim I don't know how it happened and we get our own reality TV series.
4. Stop whining and being a big yellow belly and write my new play. Fuck.