Bingo Jells

Never try and write the title first. That's the first rule of writing anything. Once you've not written the title first you should also not write the first line. Just because it's best to write the rest of it first and then that stuff will come to you afterwards. It's best to always start with the second line if you can but don't force it if it isn't forthcoming. So maybe just write off writing the first paragraph.

Writing's a complicated game. Without a rule book. One day - will people refer to writing as typing? There's a thought.

I went to the Christmas department in Harrods today and felt effortlessly glorious imagining the house I will one day own with a massive tree in the centre of the living room. We'll be blissfully carefree over the needles dropping lightly to the floor as we'll have a hardwood surface and so they are easily vacuum cleaned - these things are important.

The presents under the tree will usually start in nice piles for whether they're mine, Locke's, Ruby's or my husband's - but as the kids get excited shaking them and exploring they'll get messier and messier. We'll have a 'strictly no Christmas tree chocolates before Christmas' rule and although Locke and Ruby pester me I never give in. My husband gives in all the time. This is because the kids prefer me - not him - and so he has to buy their love. I pretend to be mad at him but I don't mind. I adore him and so I'm OK with the balance of our parenting. We're an excellent team.

On Christmas Eve we let the children decide if they'd like to go to church for the midnight service with their Grandma. They'll find this exciting until they're about 16 and then they'll stop. We'll all have mulled wine and I'll put the children to bed. Then my husband will let me open my Christmas Eve present from him. It's always sexy pyjamas and a nice dressing gown but I act surprised and immediately put them on. Then we snuggle up and watch a film and then we get everything ready for the next day and go to bed.

Then next morning all the family are round (this is the year we're at mine) and everyone has a great time saying hello and getting down to opening the presents slowly throughout the day. We have a huge lunch and swear blind we'll never eat again before promptly declaring we want leftover sandwiches an hour later.

I think Christmas is a really good measure of a family and people. I'd like to think a person's on my wavelength if we have similar views on Christmas and how it should go. Also, if you measure proximity to Christmas by viewings of the Coca Cola advert and a shift in TV adverts away from 'Have you had a slip or trip anywhere...' and closer to 'buy a mince pie fatty'.

I realise this may seem a little early for a Christmas themed blog - but hey ho. It was what's on my mind. It was either this, X Factor or some neurotic ramblings about how I have an inability to be cool with the opposite sex.